Parents Of Adult Children: Coping With Their Significant Other

Most Christian parents tend to fall into two different camps when it comes to teen dating. Some believe that dating is never appropriate and encourage their children to follow a courtship model. Others feel that dating can be a positive experience for teens provided they are mature enough and the parents know and trust the dating partner. When you address tough issues with your teen or adult child, it’s important to be clear, but not cruel; attack the problem, not the person. Avoid statements like, “John is always selfish and controlling with you,” even if you know it’s true.

Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at In summary, if you are living with your parents then you are biblically required to obey them if what they are requesting is not sinful. In an emotionally safe relationship you can truly express yourself and show up as your most authentic self. You can try to find a common interest with them or focus on any grandchildren you may have instead. You may find that stating your concerns to your child calmly and assertively might help.

Here are a few tactics you might try to help you parents feel more comfortable with your partner. The biblical guidelines for Christians and their parents change once that person is an adult and is no longer depending on their parents like a child. Adults are not commanded to obey their parents. So if you are a Christian adult and your parents do not want you to date or marry someone, you are not obligated to obey them.

It’s important that they know what’s going on and that you’re both happy with it. Ideally, they’ll come around and approve of your relationship once they understand it better. A parent who disapproves of your partner choice is not a new concept. Don’t expect your parents to embrace someone who has an addiction, is dependent on you, hurts you in any way, or treats you with disrespect.

Still, despite all of that, you have a point, but I really feel down on myself knowing that I will have to confront her with this and go against her wishes. Let them know about your new relationship and ask for their help in setting guidelines for it. It’ll be easier for them if they know where you stand and what you’re expecting from the relationship. If one parent tries to guilt-trip you by throwing your boundaries back in your face, calmly repeat them without wavering. You might say, “That’s right, Mrs. Richards, we’ve decided to start staying in hotels when we come visit from now on.”

Your parents will be more likely to hear what you have to say if you let them express what they’re feeling. So, if my daughter ever brings home an older man, and he’s a nice guy and he’s good to her, I’ll just shut my mouth and tell her that I am happy for them. But I know what you are thinking – that there are bigger problems in this world. Am I that insecure about getting older that I’d really let something so trivial get to me? Besides, my mother-in-law and father-in-law are thirteen years apart and I don’t think anything of it with them. “And your daughter wanting to borrow those movies is not so bad.

The effects of secrecy on a relationship

A while ago, she started borrowing some of my movies. (I have a rather large collection of DVDs.) I’m obsessed with relationship flicks. So, she started borrowing some of my movies, in particular ones starring Ryan Gosling. I have a few of those –Drive,Blue Valentine,The Notebook,Crazy Stupid Love,Lars And The Real Girl,Half Nelson. I’ll stop there before you think I’m crazier than you already do.

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If your partner loves you, they should not allow their parents to act rudely or mean towards you. However, because it’s their parents, they may feel uncomfortable speaking up.Although your spouse shouldn’t allow any talking behind your back, you should also avoid telling your partner to choose sides. Doing so puts them in an impossible position. Try to understand where your partner is coming from, but also ask that they don’t allow their parents to speak badly about you. It may be hard to admit that some of their concerns are valid, but don’t forget that marriage is a lifelong commitment (one that shouldn’t be taken lightly, at that). It’s best to be as open-minded and realistic as possible before making a decision blinded by passion.

When Your Parents Disapprove of Your Marriage

Ultimately, our daughters need to know we love them, no matter what happens, even when we disapprove of the people they date, the places they go, and the choices they make. We all are trying desperately to impress our parents and for most of us many of our pursuits throughout life are a bid to try and make Mummy and Daddy proud. You’re always wondering what they would think and trying to live the way you know they would want you to.

How to Give Your Teenager Dating Advice When You Disapprove

Whether it’s a day trip, an out-of-state journey, or an experience leaving the country, here are some tried and true traveling tips. Now, I know that when you love someone, you fight. I know that there are going to be rough patches, but I stuck around for longer than I should have. I forgave you for things that I never in a million years could imagine myself doing to you, or anyone for that matter; because I love you.

You can also set limits for yourselves on how you’ll interact with your parents. For instance, if you find that things get tense when you’re around them for long periods of time, you might agree not to spend more than 1 day at their house. Your parents need to know how serious you are about this issue.

A great Ask Elizabeth tool I want to share with you, which we talk about a lot in workshops, is that being specific about what’s concerning or bothering you can make huge difference. And that’s especially true when we’re dealing with a tricky situation like you not loving someone that they are hanging out with. What is it that your daughter likes/loves about this person? While your instincts about him or her may not be wrong, you may not know the full picture. A lot of girls have said they appreciated their moms taking the time to understand why that person was important to her. Not to mention that for the moms, viewing the person through their daughters’ eyes helped ease some of their concerns.

This is no different when it comes to choosing a mate. In studies where people are asked to rate how important different qualities are for their own spouse or their child’s spouse, their answers don’t totally line up. When it comes to their own mate, they rate good looks and a fun personality as more important than when sizing up potential mates for their children.